Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The 5 Stages of Gluttony

Stage 1:  Denial
I will just fill a bowl with candy corn and peanuts to make the house look festive.  Of course I will eat a little, but only a few morsels each day, so it will last till Halloween.  Besides, it looks so cute and festive on the counter.  It gives me a chance to use that adorable dish I won at the Office pumpkin carving contest one year.

Stage 2: Anger
I can't believe I ate it all so fast!  It just disappeared.  I'm so mad at myself!  And I think
my husband is helping himself to the dish way too often!  I'm going to have to get another bag of candy corn.  (See stage 1:Denial.  It is still operating though I have moved on to Stage 2.)

Stage 3: Bargaining   
I promise I will only eat 10 candy corns a day and I will skip putting peanuts into the mix.  If I give up the peanuts, the temptation will be cut in half.
Stage 4:  Depression
I can't believe I have now eaten a whole pound of candy corn.  I have nothing but an empty dish.  I am fat.  I don't have any friends.  I will never lose weight.  That song keeps running through my mind, "Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I'm going to eat some worms..."

Stage 5:  Acceptance
Ok, I am not capable of resisting the siren call of candy corn in October.  I'll start my diet in November.   There is no way I'm going the whole month of October without candy corn.  I'll just be fat.  And that dish will be empty again before you finish reading this post!  


  1. LOL! I'm safe this year - we won't have trick or treaters living in the sticks like we do, so I have no excuse to buy any of it!

  2. I have never heard of candy corn but I am familiar with the 5 stages of gluttony.

  3. Bravo! So funny. Thanks for the smile

  4. How did I miss this valuable lesson?
    I'm crushed...i could have used this daily !
    Please return with more lessons!!
    Pretty please?

  5. Someone who has never heard of candycorn?
    I don't feel so bad now.
    This person does not have a life...tragic

  6. A workaround.
    Get a dog and They will eat any candy you leave out and solve all yr problems. C'est comme ça.